About Happiness and Fulfillment

You want to be happy, but do you know how. Readas study guides for many thousands of American and
further to understand why for social, spiritual creaturesforeign pastors. We feel deeply honored to have
such as ourselves aquiring power, prestige andtaken part in their outstanding ministry. LEADERSHIP
material possessions is never enough. Our emphasis isPSYCHOLOGY was the lead-off book in the
on joyful living through spiritual values (or ethical virtues),Executive Growth Series offered by New American
positive attitudes, high expectations, mature beliefs andLibrary, a major American publishing company. NICE
responsible choices.GUYS was an American best seller while
During a FULFILLMENT seminar, at the University ofLEADERSHIP POWER was extremely useful to
Arizona for the Affiliated Women's Clubs, a charmingexecutives and managers throughout Japan. Obviously,
and successful woman unintentionally made our pointwe are not novices and we believe you can find a
about success, satisfaction and happiness. Catherinegreat deal of help by studying the materials we offer.
Hendricks spoke about several major problems thatFortunately, life can become deeply meaningful for
are caused by living too secular a life-style in thisloving persons who are maturing, who are meeting the
period of swift, destabilizing and often disconcertingneeds of their spiritual unconscious that Frankl wrote
change. Catherine lamented;about - which is as vital to satisfaction as our
"I'm one woman who did everything well. I stayed outpsychological unconscious that Freud discussed. It is
of trouble in school, married the right guy and joined athis spiritual unconscious that is so often neglected by
great company when it started taking womenpersons who live with secular values and too
seriously. I've made sound business decisions along thepragmatic choices - which is why we combine the
way and shall surely become a V P before I'm forty. Ipsychological and the philosophical in our books and
live in a home my parents think a mansion and havearticles. After all, every society from primitive clans
two beautiful children. I do a job thousands envy.with be-feathered shamans chanting spells around
Obviously, I have everything. Right? Wrong! Much ofcampfires, to building mysterious Stonehenge, to
my life feels incomplete and caught up in trivia. My kidscompleting towering European cathedrals, and even
are rebelling with sex and drugs and I'm almost certainattending Billy Graham's relational campaigns, has been
my husband is having an affair with a little twerp. I feeltrying to meet the spiritual yearnings throbbing within
deeply dissatisfied at the most inopportune times, as ifevery human soul. These hungers are universal and
nothing counts except for my sixty hour work weeksrepressing or neglecting them causes spiritual
and paying for the house and the Mercedes. Therebankruptcy or what Frankl called existential frustration.
must be more to life than this but when my therapistWe have researched the emotional and spiritual
asks what's missing, I can't even tell her. I worry that I'maspects of satisfaction for half a century, drawing
going mad to feel this way despite myfrom brilliant existential philosophers, theologians and
accomplishments in the company and my prestige inpsychologists of whom Soren Kierkegaard, Carl Jung,
my community. What do I do when I've wonKaren Horney, Tielhard de Chardin, Otto Rank, Melanie
everything I've ever wanted and it isn't enough to keepKlein, Paul Tillich, Viktor Frankl, H. Orton Wiley, Laura
me happy?"Perls, Rollo May and Carl Rogers are representative.
What, indeed -- and what of the many persons whoWayne Dyer, who remains a contemporary existential
fall short of her achievements, who fear life is passingseminar leader on Public Television, has an excellent
them by, who feel stuck in their careers or frustratedapproach for improving spiritual health. We have
in their relationships? They are not mentally ill butlearned beyond a shadow of a doubt, that fulfillment is
virtually always spiritually maladjusted through secularnever won directly but always the by product of a
values, negative attitudes, low expectations, immaturematuring life-style. We didn't stop with concepts,
beliefs and often irresponsible choices. They are lefthowever, but hammered the issues of life out in the
wondering how they can find consistent satisfaction.real world, getting down into the mud and blood of
Our work answers Catherine's troubling question alongexistence with people experiencing differing degrees
with a great many more. Our emphasis is on joyfulof emotional and spiritual failures. We have also
living through spiritual values (or ethical virtues), positivediscovered that human existence can indeed be filled
attitudes, high expectations, mature beliefs andwith purpose and permanence for perceptive women
responsible choices. We have learned as Viktor Frankl,and men. However, there is a major Catch - 22 in the
Karen Horney, Karl Jung and many others taught, thatsearch for consistent satisfaction. There is nothing
the unfortunate souls who are suffering from neuroticautomatic or universal about succeeding in our quest.
ailments and existential alienation, are those personsThere is no single approach to Fulfillment with a capital
who have failed to find a consistent sense of meaningF that meets every person's needs. Each one of us
that assures their satisfaction through life's severalhas to open personal channels by applying our own
stages. We have also learned that few persons arepowers along lines of excellence. We must move
going to simply get lucky and have fulfillment handed tobeyond the theoretical to the practical.
them on a solver platter. Life is filled with manyDespite the assumptions of so many persons, our
quid-pro-quos in which we must do our part wisely andsearch can seldom be for happiness per se.
well to have life become consistently satisfying as aHappiness is a fleeting emotion that will always fade
by-product of our responsible choices.and eventually vanish. We all need times of joy,
Obviously this means that those persons doing theobviously, but it is far more satisfying to create lasting
best they can - while still feeling stuck in their careers,sources of meaning in our lives - in those places of the
dissatisfied with their love relationships and anxious thatheart where we belong, connected to persons with
life is passing them by, must learn better ways ofwhom we share love, acceptance and support.
managing their existence. Of course, that is what thisWe all hold values, attitudes, expectations and beliefs
book is all about!and make choices that are relevant to our lives. These
This approach was first conceived when Jard waskey aspects of life affect us according to our inherited
psychology professor and convocations chairman attraits, environmental experiences and formative
Olivet College. He had Viktor Frankl flown from Viennachoices. Naturally, not one of us is exempt from
to the campus to lecture and counsel about hiscivilization's pressures. All men and women inherit
approach to psychospiritual healing. Viktor had writtenhomosapien angst and rage, resist childhood
several outstanding books, including MAN'S SEARCHsocialization, and struggle to break the apron strings
FOR MEANING, PSYCHOTHERAPY ANDduring adolescence and to remove emotional scar
EXISTENTIALISM and THE DOCTOR AND THEtissue in the unconscious aspects of our minds. We
SOUL. The Viennese psychiatrist and psychologistare indeed forced to deal with the tragic elements of
called his approach Logotherapy - which means spiritsuffering, guilt, rage and death. It doesn't end there,
healing - for existentially frustrated or spirituallyfortunately. We are pleased to report that despite
bankrupt souls. Viktor, who spent more than threemany existential frustrations, spiritually-minded persons
years in Nazi Germany's brutal death camps, waswho convert their earthly meanderings into purposeful,
spiritually transformed by his covenant relationship withlove-filled quests can enjoy consistent fulfillment.
God despite the suffering and fear surrounding him, intoWomen and men who cultivate faith, hope and love do
a virtual saint. Even in that anteroom of hell, with God'sfind joy even as waves of complex change batter
help, he found meaning by helping others survive. In oursociety relentlessly.
distinctive religious approach to Logotherapy, you shallWe recently had this approach confirmed by an
study crucial presentations and use revealing realityunlikely source in an entirely unexpected setting. The
checks, self-focus exercises and powerful projects tocarnival barker on the Minnesota State Fair Midway
consider serving society well, worshipping devoutly,didn't look like a philosopher. His fingernails were ragged
relating warmly, persevering bravely, learning wiselyand dirty and a broken tooth gave him a cynical and
and playing enthusiastically. New insights can lead tosomewhat sinister leer. Tough-Tony Gallo seemed too
spiritual values, positive attitudes, high expectations,rough-hewn a man from whom to learn much about a
mature beliefs and responsible choices that enhancemeaningful life. Nevertheless, Tony went right to a
life for persons who apply them wisely.major aspect of fulfillment when he said;
This approach when piloted some hundred times in"Life's sorta like ridin' a bicycle uphill. Ya gotta keep
business organizations, churches, professionalpedalin' along or ya gotta stop and get off. There ain't
associations and universities, often received a standingno reverse gear and ya gotta keep yer balance."
ovation from the many participants. The authors wonHow marvelously well expressed! There you have it -
a 3.68 evaluation with it on a one to four scale formuch knowledge and wisdom in a nutshell! Tough
years. We have learned, in our presentations thatTony had just relieved Jard of six dollars in a futile
range from hour long church forum lectures, toattempt to win a stuffed panda for a granddaughter at
business seminars, to three day summer collegehis milk bottle-toss game. Neither Jard's arm nor his aim
classes, that participants are indeed fascinated withis what either was in his youth but he was delighted
our materials. And while we are not entirely unbiased,with the transaction. After all, in these days of
we feel this interest is the result of our addressing vitalexpensive therapy, that was a bargain price for such
human needs that are seldom considered inexcellent counsel about living successfully. As our
commercial seminars or even religious classes -philosophical friend with dirty nails so succinctly said, a
despite their importance to each human soul. We aresatisfying life has an ongoing flow that must be
dealing in applied Logotherapy - the healing of theembraced if we are to find consistent meaning and
human spirit through a covenant relationship with Godbelonging with the powers God through nature has
the Cosmic Creator.given us to invest in spiritual growth. To sum this up
If you or a loved one faces career, relationship,even more succinctly than Tony did, we use this
emotional or spiritual challenges that leave yousimple equation;
dissatisfied and feeling stuck in life, worried that lifePERSONAL FULFILLMENT = f (Heredity x
itself is passing you by, that your life is bereft ofEnvironment x Choices)
meaning, this can be the most valuable singleEverything we inherit from all of our ancestors is acted
experience of your life. It can and will assist anyoneon by our environment whether it is good or bad. And
seeking consistent fulfillment in many special ways -that product is multiplied by the excellent, mediocre or
that is, helping the reader find satisfying sources ofdisastrous choices we make about life and our place in
lasting meaning in those places of the heart where heit.
or she belongs.Through these articles, we use the word existential to
For a generation we, Jard and Roberta DeVille, havemean that something relates to the cultural and
written such psychology books as NICE GUYS FINISHpersonal life-style humans choose to follow or have
FIRST, LOVERS FOR LIFE, LEADERSHIPthrust upon them by society. It has nothing to do with
PSYCHOLOGY, LEADERSIP POWER (Japanese),the grim European philosophy of Existentialism taught
LOS BUENOS TAMBIEN GANAN (Spanish), THEby Sartre, Camus and others in the desperate
PASTOR'S HANDBOOK ON INTERPERSONALdecades of the World Wars, the murderous Holocaust
RELATIONS, THE PSYCHOLOGY OF WITNESSINGand the long, debilitating Cold War. To us, existential
and others. One religious denomination, one of thejust means that something being discussed is related
fastest growing church organizations around the world,to the life-style we follow.
used our PASTOR'S HANDBOOK and WITNESSING